Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize