My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Green mimosas i think yes
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
