ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
