margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
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