***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I wanna passion pit in your ass
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
