ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm really into asian looking animals
I faked an abortion last night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
