Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize