your parents love me but you hate me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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