part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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