She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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