we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
