I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
