If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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