She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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