i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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