How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize