Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
