Plan B is the new Plan A
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
