note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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