you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
