We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
