garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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