I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
