A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
