Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
