once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
