Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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