there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
