I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
