id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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