I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
