I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
