We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
