I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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