My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
