Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
