Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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