question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
