when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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