I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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