Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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