wanna go halves on a baby?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
