Your face is a jimmy john
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
