If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
