You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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