The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize