She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
