You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
