Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
