I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
