I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
