I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
