...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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