a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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