Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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