Me. At least after what I've been through.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
