im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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