He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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