Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
